Time Heals All Wounds...

How true... How true. Time. Over the past nine months I've had so many ups and down, ins and outs I didn't know where I was, or for that matter who I was. I went through a huge change in my career, from working as triage nurse, to caring exclusively for those who are mentally ill. I realized just how rewarding it is to care for those who can't care for themselves. I went into nursing with one thing in mind- others. I wanted to give of myself, so that others could be comfortable. I had no idea that the degree I received in Knoxville, would take me to Carmel, NY, and to the mother of the most wonderfully eclectic man I'd ever meet.

Bobby. He has to be the most complex man I've ever met. A man who, well, intentionally or unintentionally, played the smoothest mind games with me. For months, he haunted my dreams, and boggled my mind. He eluded me. He had me completely entranced. After months of "the game", things came to fruition. It happened. Like a bolt of lightning, it happened, and was gone. I wanted it too much. He wasn't ready for that. The baggage. He carries enough to sink the Titanic four times over. The memories, the fears, the hopes and dreams he carries, they come to light at the most inopportune times. It pushed us apart. We drifted. I never forgot him. I never gave up on him. We had a connection that was greater than anything I understood, or ever will for that matter.

On a faithful night a little over a week ago, nostalgia reared it's head. It was a night neither of us could fight. It was time. We both needed each other more than ever. Once night that should've been in December, but never happened. It happened when it was supposed to, when the time was truly right. What will happen from here, it's anyone's guess. I'm not pushing the issue. The last thing I want is for him to feel trapped. I know he's not able to give himself fully to me right now, but for now, I'm willing to take what I can get. One day at a time...