The Breathless Fantasy...

There's A Fine Line Between Fantasy And Reality... I'm Dancing On That Line

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Location: New York, The Big Apple, United States

My heart guides me, but my mind always finds me..... "I could be in the street, I could be on a train, Or struck in some doorway down, In the pouring rain, Now there is not one place, That doesn't feel like home...."

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Life- As I Know It....

For a long time, I thought I knew what I wanted. When I moved to New York three years ago, I decided to leave behind all of the things that I thought were bringing me down. Perfection. I was expected to be perfect in every way. Beautiful. Beauty was something that was a given in my family. I was expected to follow in the footsteps of my older sister, Savannah. With grace and dignity, I put on my best smile, and paid for college- courtesy of MAO. I have always had a heart full of love and compassion, that's what lead me into the nursing field. I felt as if I could save the world. Ah, the dreams of our youth. I remember feeling as if I didn't need anyone. I could make it on my own- and I have. I've made it. I have a successful carrer, great friends, a loving family, but... there's something missing. Oh sure, I've dated. I've dated men from all walks of life, but have never made a connection- a deep connection. Most men I've met, can't handle a strong woman. A woman who knows who she is, and what she wants out of her life. I've tried to put the loneliness out of my head. I've tried to pretend that what I have is enough... No matter how hard I try to deny it, I'm lonely... and I'm tired.. I wish I could reach out to him, I know when he looks in my eyes he sees my soul. I see his pain, his fear, I see him- I know him. I do recall the moment he ruined me for other men. He's kept his distance from me, I don't know why- there's another mystery I can't explain...

2 Comments:

Blogger Neele said...

Yet again! Your words "I've tried to pretend that what I have is enough... No matter how hard I try to deny it, I'm lonely... and I'm tired.. I wish I could reach out to him, I know when he looks in my eyes he sees my soul." Exactly the same I think about ... oh well ... my mystery. Chloe, we must have the same stars/sign of the zodiac (you know what I'm mean)! Curious.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Prairie Doug said...

Time steadies the heart, mystery burdens it. Let go of the past and
embrace your cross.
God Bless

11:16 PM  

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