Angel...

That's where we're headed tonight. At least this time I won't be over-dressed if I decide to wear another "Marilyn" outfit. Maria and Susan wanted to go out tonight. I knew there was no way I was going to 515 tonight. I'm not ready to see Bobby again. Not yet. I felt picking another bar would be safe. I've dealt with so much at work lately, I just have too much on my mind. I want to go out and be anonymous. I don't want to know anyone tonight. I want to have a few drinks, dance and let go. Funny how we escape, isn't it?

I'd thought about taking some vacation time and heading for Tennessee. I'd fly home-get in my Mustang and run. Run the backroads of Tennessee. Leave behind all of the hurt. Leave behind the past. I came to New York running. Deep down inside, I've known it all along. I was tired of being in the spotlight. I was tired of being the perfect "angel". I was who I was expected to be. I was who they wanted me to be. I had to get away in order to find Chloe'. I found her. I know who she is, but sometimes, she's weak. Like Scarlett O'Hara, I draw strength from my land. I lived on 22 acres of some of the most beautiful land God placed on this earth. When I sat on my porch, looking out over the mountains, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Yet, here I sit in an apartment in New York City. I ran, because I couldn't face my demons. I need to make peace with those I've left behind. I need to explain why I did the things I did.

I've stopped running- or have I?