Dreams...

As I sit in my looking out my window into the New York night, I remember why it is I came here. I had a dream. Sure, we all have dreams. I just knew mine would come true. I wanted to dance on Broadway. I wanted to sing and dance under the bright lights. I yearned to act, to be someone else, even if for only a short time. Today, I did. Well, I didn't dance on Broadway, but I did dance- right in the middle of Central Park. There was an eccentric man sitting on a park bench listening to his radio at an ear piercing level. I went and sat down beside of him, and asked him to put in a tape I had in my purse. What possessed me to do a thing like this, I couldn't tell you? Maybe I've lost my mind. I had to dance, I felt it, deep in my soul. He put the tape in for me, and I began to dance. I recited the entire final dance from "Flashdance", right in the middle of Central Park. I didn't care who saw, or even if anyone cared. I felt it. I had to do it- and I did. I felt the music. I didn't pay attention to the fact that I had gathered a crowd. As the song ended and I raised my head, it was then, I realized people were clapping- and for me.

I must admit, at that time, my face did turn a bright shade of red. I thanked the strange man, and took my old tape. I've carried that tape with me for years, as a reminder to never give up on your dreams. I walked down the street with my head held high. I performed in New York City. I did it. I decided to live, to live my dreams, even if they weren't the way I'd imagined them. What's next? I haven't a clue- I just know dealing with death and despair day in and day out- you have to have an outlet to keep you semi-sane. I use the term "semi" because I know I'll never fully have it together. If I did "have it all together", then I wouldn't be Chloe' Gardener... Love me, or hate me, I am who I am.

People come to New York to escape, to live- and living, I am.

“ Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.”
--- Satchel Paige

Such deep, true words... Words I live by..