It's Been Good...

Getting back to work. Working keeps my mind from drifting to places I don't want to go... Carmel Ridge is such a nice hospital. The nurse/patient ratio is 1 to 3. We're able to provide exceptional one on one care to each of our patients. Typically, we're not rotated. Once we're assigned patients, that's who we care for exclusively. The patients become familiar with us, and it makes it a more comfortable environment for them. I'm caring for two women and one man. An older woman whom I'll call "Emma", has really taken to me. While her medications are working, and she's lucid, she's the most loving, entertaining individual. She tells me stories of her youth, and how much she loves her children. She has two boys that she loves dearly. She's so proud of her "Baby Bobby', as she refers to him. He was her caretaker. He helped her for so many years while she denied she was sick. She cries often, feeling such guilt for the life her boys endured. I sit and hold her hand, assuring her, that her children love her- no matter what. That normalcy is only a state of mind. Normal is what we make of it.

After all, what is normal? Has anyone ever really defined that word? I'm not normal, I remind "Emma" of that constantly. I'm thankful to be caring for her. So many people who work in mental hospitals and institutions become cold and detached. They don't want to relate or emphathize with these people. I don't understand that. How can you care for someone, if you can't, on some level, relate to them? Inside, we all share a common bond. Sometimes, it takes time to find that bond, the tie that binds. I look for something, in every person I meet, that I can relate to- be it joy, pain, anxiety, depression, happiness, uncertainty, something. Inside, we all feel the same things, we just express them in different ways. I remind "Emma" of that each day. Some people cross the line, some people dance on it, and some never come close. Our choices are only half chance.

"Baby sneezes
Mommy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
So bewildering

I know nothin' stays the same
But if you're willin' to play the game
It's comin' around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

Pay the grocer
You fix the toaster
You kiss the host goodbye
Then you break a window
Burn the soufflé
Scream the lullaby

And I believe in love
But what else can I do
So in love with you

I believe in love
Now who knows where or when
But it's comin' around again..."