Merry Christmas...

I know I've been taking a break, and I probably won't be here daily as I was before, but it just felt right to share Christmas with everyone. I celebrated my third "New York Christmas" today. Getting up wasn't exactly fun, after a packed church last night for Mass, I came home wired. For me, it isn't Christmas without Mass. I had two of the people I loved most in the world beside of me, Susan and Maria. It meant so much to be with my friends. I've spent so much time lately focusing on what I don't have, that I forgot to be thankful for what I do have. They both spent the night at my apartment last night. I nearly drove them crazy because as soon as we got home from Mass, I made them watch Mass with the Pope. I enjoyed it as always, but without Pope John Paul, it's just not the same. He'll always have a special place in my heart.

This morning, we got up and opened presents. You would've thought we were three children the way we ran to the tree and began grabbing gifts. We laughed and screamed as we opened each gift- knowing exactly what the other wanted. We spent most of the morning together until Ethan got home from work, then Susan was heading for his house, and Maria went to see Cody. I was alone for the first time, and happy. It didn't matter that right now, Bobby and I are only friends. I'm happy. I'm happy to have him in my life period. Right now, we're not on the same page or should I say, wanting the same things, and that's ok. He means the world to me, and I'm just glad he's stood by my side after all that's happened.

I knew he was most likely alone last night, he was working a double shift, and I felt bad about him being alone on Christmas. I called him a few minutes ago, just to let him know I was thinking of him, and hoped he'd had a good Christmas. It was really good just to talk to him again. There was no tension, no apprehension, everything is what it is, and nothing more. I'm happy, for the first time in a long time.