Nec Possum Tecum Vivere, Nec Sine Te...

So true, so true.

Last night, after teaching ballet, I felt utterly alone for some reason. After seeing the mothers coming to take their beautiful little ballerina's home, I realized, I have no one to go home to- no husband, no children, just the silence of my apartment. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Even though I wanted one badly, it's not the right time. I just don't have the energy to even bring that up right now- that's for another day, another time.

I decided to do something different. I decided to go out and be spontaneous. To be sexy, young and free. Take a chance, make a change. Embrace life. I went through my closet until I found the sexiest outfit I owned. I pulled out a black lace push up bra that I bought from Fredrick's of Hollywood, but have never worn. I was dressed much more provocative than usual. I put on a spritz of my favorite perfume, Addict, and I was out the door. I hailed a cab, and told him to simply drive. I looked up and down the streets in search of something new. I'd found it. I told the driver to stop. On 49th, I found what I'd been looking for- Bliss. The name said it all.

As I walked in, I turned many heads. I felt good to be desired for a change. I went to the bar and found an empty stool. As I ordered my Jack and Coke, a ruggedly handsome man told the bartender to put it on his tab. He introduced himself. His name was Chuck Hammond. He was in his 40's, great- I like older, distinguished men. I nearly bolted when he told me what he did for a living. Yes, you guessed correctly, he's a detective for the NYPD. The last thing I want is to get involved with another detective, but then it occurred to me "I'm not looking for anything from this man. I'm not looking to get into a relationship with him, I'm not looking for anything but a few drinks, dances and a good time"- so I sat and chatted with him.

He was an interesting man, very insightful and charming. He just wasn't doing it for me though. I must admit, it was nice having someone flirting shamelessly with me, and the free drinks didn't hurt a thing. As the night went on, he asked me to dance. I was lit like a roman candle, so I gladly accepted. He held me a lot closer than I would've liked. I started to push him away, then I had another epiphany. "Stop being such a frigid bitch, Chloe', live a little", I thought to myself, and continued to dance. We shared some good conversation, a few dances, and a whole lot of drinks.

I have no idea how much I had to drink. Things started getting kinda fuzzy around midnight. It wasn't pretty. I remember sitting on Chuck's lap while he was doing shots of something. I knew I wasn't feeling it. I thanked him for all of the drinks and the company. I did give him my number, and a kiss for spending his evening with me. I doubt that I'll ever go out with him again, but it was nice to have someone to just let loose with. I stumbled out of the bar. I could barely walk, and nearly fell twice. I have no idea who caught me and held me up, I didn't bother to turn around and see. God knows I didn't want to, and at that point, nor did I care. I just stumbled out into the cold New York night, caught a cab and went home.

I have two messages on my answering machine. Any guesses who they're from? I don't think I even want to listen to them. Hangovers are a bitch.