After Today...

I'll be surprised if I have a job. I lost it. I lost control. How could this happen? How could I have let this happen? Cheryl. She's a sweet woman, a single mother who needed some extra money. I was so tired. When she asked me if she could take my shift today, I gladly accepted. I could use the rest, and well, it would be helping out a friend. What are friends for, right? I gave her specific instructions for "Emma". Her son has been going through a tough time right now, and I don't want her left alone with anyone not on her visitors list. I told Cheryl to call me if she had any questions or needed anything. After mass, I was settling in, getting ready for a nice nap- when the phone rang.

It was Cheryl, she was shaken. "Emma" had a visitor that triggered a psychotic breakdown. I didn't ask any questions, I don't even know if I hung up the phone. I ran out the door. I don't know how I got there. I don't remember driving. I just remember blaming myself. Knowing this would've never happened if I had been working. I promised her- I promised her I'd protect her. I told her she had nothing to worry about, her baby would be fine, and so would she. By the time I got there, she was strapped down in her bed, out from the sedatives. I lost it. I began screaming at the other nurses, demanding to know how this could happen. It should never have happened. She should never have been left alone with this man. I sat down beside of her... breaking down into tears. It wasn't right. I should've been there. I can't talk anymore right now...