Exhaustion and Despair....

Exhausted- doesn't even begin to describe it. He haunted my dreams last night, and today poor "Emma", she's not doing good at all. I'm so angry no one called me last night. She shouldn't have had to go through this alone. What caused it? Could it have been prevented? Questions race through my mind. It hurts me so badly to see her like this, knowing all I can do is sit and hold her hand, praying she can hear me when I talk to her. I opened her curtains this morning, I know how much she likes the sunshine, and read the daily news to her. She always loved to be up to date on current events. There must be something that can be done for her.

During my lunch break, I took a look at her medical history. The medications they have her on, they're not as advanced as they could be. I began doing some research, I knew there were other drugs that might help enhance her quality of life. I've found a few. The only problem is, her doctor. I'm not exactly fond of him and his pratice. "Emma" will need a new doctor in order to receive the treatments that will be best for her. I can't assign a new doctor to her. Only- her son can do that.

I have to put my personal feelings aside. God, this is a test if I've ever seen one. I have to call to him, and tell him I've found some treatments for his mother. There's a lot to explain. I can't tell him at the hospital. I have to be so careful. I could lose my job, and my license for this. "Emma" means the world to me, I only want what's best for her. I have to call him. "Emma" is what's most important right now.

"Bobby, this is Chloe' Gardner, one of your mother's nurses. I... I need to speak with you, but.. um... I can't discuss on the phone why. I just need you to know she'll be fine, please call me as soon as you recieve this message, so we can schedule a time to talk. My number is....."

I've left the message. I pray he gets it. I want "Emma" to live again, and I know that he does as well.