Sunshine...

It was such a beautiful day. I hate that most of the time, my patients are confined indoors. "Emma", loves having her curtains open so she can see the sun shine through. Today was a relatively slow day, so I was able to sit down and spend some time with her. Her story is so sad. She's struggled with mental illness for many years, with little or no support. Her children were too young to know what was wrong, and her husband was too busy drinking and spending time with other women to press her to get the help she needed. She ended up taking so much out on her boys. She cries every day for them. Her baby, she loves him so much. He comes to visit her without fail every sunday, and calls every night to make sure she's doing ok. He's a good son. Even after all he's been through, he understands that his mother is sick, and he's done the best he can.

She said he's done well for himself, that he served in the Army, and is now a detective for the NYPD. She's a little sad he's never settled down. She said she always dreamt of her son meeting a nice young woman like myself. I had to smile. I've always been the kind of girl "you take home to meet your mother", only, the men I've ended up being involved with, didn't want that kind of girl. I guess that's why I'm living with Morris the cat instead of a husband. I'm glad "Emma" has her son. I haven't met him, but I'm sure he's a wonderful man, caring for his mother the way he does. In a way, I suppose I wish I could meet him- maybe he'd help take my mind off of Bobby for awhile. Cigarettes- 19, a little better.

Wednesday night- 515, not sure I'll be there.