Photographs and Memories...

Having the past couple of days off, I've begun to catch up on some much needed house cleaning, as well as social time with friends. Yesterday, I began digging through my closet in search of my black Nine West heels. As I opened the box, I realized that it wasn't my shoes in the box, but a ton of pictures. I pulled the box out and sat on my bed, just looking at things special times I'd shared with friends.

There were pictures of me, Maria, and Susan in Time Square right after we'd moved to the city. We were absolutely frozen, with big shit-eating grins on our faces. We were young, free, and had our whole lives ahead of us. Living, that's what New York was all about for us. We were going to be living our dreams. The pictures of our apartments when we first moved in- those were classics! There were pictures from nights out on the town, Maria's plays, Susan's restrurants and masterpieces, so many, memories. So many good times.

After spending a good hour looking at pictures the phone rang. It was Bobby. I hadn't talked to him in awhile. Honestly, I just didn't know what to say. I was really glad to hear his voice. He's been under so much recently with work, I could tell by his voice he was worn out. Burning the candle at both ends tends to do that a person. We only talked for a few minutes. That was fine, it was good to just simply catch up for a few moments.

After hanging up the phone, I sat there blankly, realizing just how much I missed our friendship, and the thoughts of possibly something more. I continually push that back. The thoughts that once consumed me, I now only dare to think about. I become overwhelmed by the thoughts, so I bury them deep inside, deep in a crevice in my heart, locked away safely.

I finally got up and got dressed. Having no idea exactly where I was going, I picked out a classy black sweater and pants. Maria and Susan showed up with a bottle of champagne. How insane is it, just to drink a bottle of champagne before going out- and for no good reason? Well, I suppose it was a good reason, we're young, free, alive, and together. What more can you ask for? We made a toast to "Us, just as we are". Yes, it was so "Bridget Jones", but you know, I often feel like poor Bridget. A mixed up woman with a good heart, just trying to get it right. I smoke too much, and probably drink more than I should as well, but hey, we've got one life, and I plan on living it to the fullest.

As we hit the streets, you would've thought we were heading out onto the runway. The three of us locked arms and walked with our heads held high. One of Maria's friends from the theater was going to be reading poetry at a cafe around the corner from her apartment. Don't me wrong, I do enjoy good poetry, but sitting around a cafe, sipping a latte' while listening to poetry just isn't my thing.

How surprised I was when we arrived. It was nothing like what I had expected. The entire scene was really relaxed and mellow. The poetry- was beyond anything I'd ever heard before. Moving, comical, dark, emotional, light-hearted, anything and everything that you could imagine had been written and expressed through expertly chosen, heart-felt words. I was captivated by the rawness, the ability of these people to bear their souls in front of complete strangers. I left last night with a completely different outlook on so many things in life, on so many people.

Walking back to my apartment, the bitter cold didn't bother me. My soul had been warmed by the light of others. I learned a valuable lesson. Words touch the soul, the can heal, and they can kill- always choose them wisely. You never know when something you say will make all the difference in the world to someone.