'Tis The Season...

For people to be at their worst. It's already started, the "Christmas Hype". People beating each other to death for toys in the stores, and the bargain hunters preying like vultures over the sale racks. Susan and I were in search of the perfect ballgown for her. The annual NYPD Policeman's Ball is next month, and she will be attending with Ethan. I'd give my left arm to be able to attend this ball! She's so lucky. I'm so happy for her, she's finally found happiness with a man who's a gentleman. He appreciates and respects her, which is something that's so hard to find this day in time. Store after store, we looked and looked. She tried on I know sixty dresses. This is the first time I wasn't the one ripping dresses off the rack screaming "This is it! It's perfect", at least ten times!

When we came to the last store, Susan had found her gown. A navy blue gown designed by Dina Bar-el. It's described as "a halter top silk formal gown, ties at the neck, and a deep V front with elaborate front design detail that forms a flattering corset". When she tried it on, we knew immediately that was the dress for her. She'll take Ethan's breath away when he sees her. The saleswomen were very persistent. Even though I will not be attending this event, they insisted I try on a dress as well because as they stated "You never know". Yeah right. I tried on a beautiful red carpet evening gown by Allen Schwartz. Strapless, with a sweetheart neckline, form-fitting- perfect. I stood up on a pedestal in front of the window while the saleswoman observed the dress. It was beautiful, a definite breathtaker. I felt silly standing in this store in a dress I'd never wear, well to a ball anyway. The last ball I attended was a Military Ball, and that was years ago. I stood up straight, getting ready to walk down, when I looked out the window. Speaking of breathless, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. Our eyes met. Bobby. I don't know how long he had been standing there, but he was looking at me as if I were the only women in the world. I began to blush, I looked away quickly, embarrassed, flustered.

By the time I walked off of the small platform, he was gone. Was I dreaming? Did I see what I wanted to see? Was he really there? I don't know. All I know, is in an instant he was gone. I ran to the dressing room and put my clothes back on. Susan's dress was already wrapped and ready to go. We went around the corner for a drink. God knows I needed one after that performance. The stores were just so busy, and we didn't feel like fighting the crowds, so after a drink we headed back to my apartment. I knew I had some accessories that would go perfectly with her dress. I've never seen Susan this excited. I know she's going to have a wonderful time.

My mind wondered back to Bobby. He's a detective with the NYPD. Will he be attending as well? Who will he take? I quickly put those thoughts out of my mind, because if I don't it will drive me crazy.

"There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around."

How true that is- I'm just as far in as I'll ever be out. I've gotten myself in too deep with a man I can't have, or can I? That's one mystery I'm not yet able to solve. If only it were as simple as "Miss Scarlett in the library with the candlestick". Sometimes the clues aren't always there.