Last Night I Couldn't Get To Sleep At All...

So I downloaded the song and listened to it as I sat sleepless. How could I sleep? The day I've been looking forward to for weeks is finally HERE!!! Everything must be PERFECT tonight. I don't think I was ever this nervous before any ball or pageant I've attended! I went this morning and had my nails done, and met Susan for lunch. She's just as excited as I am. Sure, we've been to tons of parties/dances and social functions in New York, but nothing like this! I know she smoked a pack of cigarettes while going through her checklist of "Things to Do Before". After lunch, we came back to my apartment. That's where Bobby and Ethan will be picking us up. Maria is coming over in about an hour after she gets off of work.

I just can't believe how far I've come. Three months ago, Bobby was but a dream. He was a man I met by chance in a bar. A man I shared a dance with, and knew immediately, he was someone I couldn't let go of. I ran from him, and tried so hard to push him out of my mind. Somehow, we were brought together. I don't know where things will go between us. I know I need him in my life. He's so precious to me. He's renewed my faith in men- that there are a few gentlemen left in this world. He appreciates a woman who possesses dignity and self-respect. He sees more to me than just my outer glamorous facade. His first instinct wasn't to try to get me into bed- and that means a lot. I know he's been hurt, badly. I know he carries demons he's afraid to let anyone know about. I know he things I'm young and naive, that I couldn't possibly understand, and even if he felt I could, he wouldn't want to expose me to that. His first instinct is to protect me. He doesn't realize, that beneath the innocence and compassion lies a woman who is stronger than he could ever imagine. I know he can't fathom that strength and compassion go hand in hand. It's something he's never seen, because he's never really looked in the mirror. He's afraid of what he'll find.

Goodness, I've gotten way too deep. Today is supposed to be all about fun, about celebrating with friends and loved ones. Today is about taking his breath away, and tonight, when he sees me, I'll do just that. Think of me, I'll need a lot of thoughts and prayers to pull this one off!