Regret, Shame, And All That You Can't Live Without....
I've spent a lot of time beating myself up over Chuck and New Year's Eve. It's one of the nights I regret most in my life. For me, getting out what's bothering me and finding other's who've been through the same thing, often helps to begin the healing process. What has happened in your life that you regret, or you wish you could just erase. A harsh word to a loved one, a bad relationship, a missed opportunity? Share with me...
posted by Chloe' Gardner | 10:43 PM
14 Comments:
I'm new to your site, but this question hit me like a thunderbolt. The first time I took a drink is my biggest regret. I woke up the next morning and didn't have a hangover....so it must be ok. For whatever reason I have a huge tolerance for alcohol, but I finished school, had a career, and got drunk almost every day. I hurt a lot of people along the way, and although they have forgiven me, I haven't forgiven myself. At 30 I said enough,checked into rehab, and have been sober for 14yrs.
I think every time we make a mistake, experience pain, we open ourselves up to the unknown, our lives have changed.
My biggest regret-believing the ex-idiot actually cared about me, when in fact he was just using me. It has had a very negative impact on my life & probably ruined new relationships.
Tess, you have it right on the nose.
Did you notice that these biggest regrets are mostly in relationships, where one gets no practice or guidance before leaping in, and not careers? Why is that? I'll tell you why. Nobody expect you to figure out your job straight off the bat!
Gals, I gotta tell you, this premium on virginity is disturbing to me. Maybe the Porn Fairy needs to enlighten you about the sacred act and the Temple Virgins/Sacred Whores of Bablyon.
I've just spent the last 30 minutes catching up on your blog since the new years eve fiasco. What I can't help but wonder is, if you can't remember "it" happening, how do you know it did? And I can't help but wonder if you've had many other blackouts like you did that night. If not, and this guy IS creepy, is it possible he slipped you something?
I'm gonna come back after I take my youngest (15) to school, but hon...this guy's scary. I honestly don't think this was your fault.
Hugs
Okay, here it is, Chloe: I would just like to sincerely apologize for my post on my blog, about losing cherries. I had no idea about your regrets in this regard and I would like to officially say I'm sorry for being insensitive. I didn't know about this, so my post was inapropriate!
Having said that, my life is my biggest regret.
Honestly, I ruined my life irrepairably and I will NEVER forgive myself, let alone those who helped me hate myself. I cannot love, forget or forgive and I don't care. It's MY hell that I made and I have to live it.
I am planning to post something profound tomorrow, which will show you the meaning of regret.I regret everything in my life (yes, children too)
Chloe, losing your virginity is supposed to be a big deal, but we all lose it in an undesirable way, trust me. After I lost mine, I just sat there, shocked and disappointed. I still kling to the past, wishing I could fix my fuck-ups. But it's only the path to more regret.
I can't and won't mention my regrets aloud. It puts me in a different state just thinking about them. They are the evil side of me that I will not ever let out again.
At 31, I have plenty of regrets. Sometimes i still think about them, and how stupid I was.
In some of these regrets, time heals, unfortunately there are some of my regrets time will NEVER heal.
The best I can do is try to keep looking forward and try to learn from the past. Not always an easy thing to do.
Ah, the Porn Fairy, font of wisdom.
You see? True, there's a bit more to the Babylonian custom, but hey, it's a start.
I love the Porn Fairy so very, very much.
No man is is ever worth beating yourself up over. Men are dispensible. Get bored with one or pissed off at one, go find another. Or kill him. =)
I try to regret nothing, everything I do no matter how hated has mad me who I am today, but there will always be missed opportunities.
my biggest regret (over something I've done) is trying to hide pain & grief by using rock. I did major damage to sometimes fragile psyche. I have the failed relationship regrets that almost everyone does.
I regret that "my first" was with someone that was a by-the-book sociopath. How didn't I see who and what he was? I was 21 and tired of being alone, and he wandered into the picture like an actor with a cameo role. That's all he should have been, but he turned my life inside out. I never slept. I was on the verge of being anorexic. What a mess.
I regret not asking more questions to my Dad & Grandmother about their lives growing up. They're both gone and I know so little of who they were really.
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sorry chloe that was me. I've just read everyone's very sad stories and I could add mine to the list.
All I want to say is what happened, happened. The clock cannot be turned back, so look forward with as much a positive attitude as you can, don't put all the blame on your own shoulders, and learn from your mistakes.
Shoot, no one's perfect; life is a learning curve. I am a hell of a lot older, not necessarily wiser, but with hindsight I know beating yourself up is a waste of time and energy that could be put to much better use, even trying to enjoy life.
lotsa luv ann xxxxx
p.s. sorry, but that's the motherhen in me.
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