Sparkling Sangria...

Tonight was a rare night. A night that I was off, and energized- and Bobby was off, and somewhat relaxed. I suggested we have a few drinks, and take a walk through Central Park. I had absolutely no idea where I wanted to go for drinks, I just knew I didn't want to sit at home. I met Bobby around 8:00pm, and told him we were walking until something caught our eye. We found a small bistro that looked perfect. Small and intimate- exactly what I was looking for. It had been so long since we had just sat and talked. We talked about nothing and everything. Of course, the more we had to drink, the more we opened up.

Why is it that everything comes out when you drink? Your hopes, fears, aspirations- everything. Nothing is taboo when alcohol is flowing freely. After leaving the bistro, it was more than apparent neither of us should be driving. It's a good thing we decided tonight was the perfect night for a walk- because we certainly needed it.

As we walked through the park, I remembered many fond memories of being there. I had to laugh as I thought about my "Flashdance" performance. Only me. There are tons of crazy people in New York, but how many decide to just start dancing right in the middle of Central Park? Leave it to me. As quickly as that memory flashed through my mind, so did the memory of one of the most difficult days of my life. I sat on a park bench, unable to fight back tears. I remember looking up, and seeing Bobby looking back at me- and literally, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

He's floated in and out of my life for almost a year now. We've pulled close together, and then pushed each other away more times than I can count. Are we afraid of what might happen if we really gave into what's deep inside? Of the feelings we dare not speak of, but know exist? He's my best friend. I can tell him anything, and I know he's not going to ridicule me for any of the strange or quirky thoughts and/or beliefs I have. I can call him anytime, and he'd be there for me.

As I held his hand, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. Maybe it was the sangria, but the night was magical. It's funny how some of the most simple moments shape our lives, and change things for the better.

Long Night... Early Morning

Last night, was an official "girls night out". I met up with Maria, Susan, and a few girls from Carmel Ridge for a night on the town. It was a refreshing change of scenery. After living in New York for a period of time, you take the bright lights and busy life for granted- you begin to settle into a "routine" and before long, forget all the wonderful perks of living in the city.

We spent the first hour enjoying 2 for 1 shots. That's never good. Of course, I we were all feeling good. We found a cozy table in the back, and bought a round of drinks to celebrate good friends, good drinks, and having a good life. We celebrated a little too much, because now, it's 6:00am, and I'm left wishing I could crawl right back into the bed.

Work awaits. So, I've got to get it together. Here's to hoping I can get ready before Mass. Things just don't go right if I don't get to go to church before work.

Like We Didn't See This Coming...

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

Time Heals All Wounds...

How true... How true. Time. Over the past nine months I've had so many ups and down, ins and outs I didn't know where I was, or for that matter who I was. I went through a huge change in my career, from working as triage nurse, to caring exclusively for those who are mentally ill. I realized just how rewarding it is to care for those who can't care for themselves. I went into nursing with one thing in mind- others. I wanted to give of myself, so that others could be comfortable. I had no idea that the degree I received in Knoxville, would take me to Carmel, NY, and to the mother of the most wonderfully eclectic man I'd ever meet.

Bobby. He has to be the most complex man I've ever met. A man who, well, intentionally or unintentionally, played the smoothest mind games with me. For months, he haunted my dreams, and boggled my mind. He eluded me. He had me completely entranced. After months of "the game", things came to fruition. It happened. Like a bolt of lightning, it happened, and was gone. I wanted it too much. He wasn't ready for that. The baggage. He carries enough to sink the Titanic four times over. The memories, the fears, the hopes and dreams he carries, they come to light at the most inopportune times. It pushed us apart. We drifted. I never forgot him. I never gave up on him. We had a connection that was greater than anything I understood, or ever will for that matter.

On a faithful night a little over a week ago, nostalgia reared it's head. It was a night neither of us could fight. It was time. We both needed each other more than ever. Once night that should've been in December, but never happened. It happened when it was supposed to, when the time was truly right. What will happen from here, it's anyone's guess. I'm not pushing the issue. The last thing I want is for him to feel trapped. I know he's not able to give himself fully to me right now, but for now, I'm willing to take what I can get. One day at a time...

Am I One...

To Kiss and Tell?

It depends greatly upon what you're asking me to tell. Are you wanting to know if it was the greatest night of my life? Everything I've been hoping for? Everything Chuck wasn't? Was he all I'd hoped for, and dreamt of every night? Was there a big, beautiful bouquet of Orchids at my door the next day?

Yes.

That's all you need to know. For now.